Are today’s influencers the modern version of a show-off?
An influencer’s obituary appears all too often in the internet news. I confess I rarely know who the person was, and all too often, the age of the deceased is much too young. The entire “influencer” trend is something I can’t fathom; can a 7-year-old truly be an influencer, and is “influencing” a stable career?
Let’s peer into “Ellen’s Cluttered Crawlspace of Cognition,” otherwise known as my memory, shall we? Shove the career highlights and lowlights aside; push past the college antics and high school classes that still ignite nightmares. Keep rooting until you reach the 1970s and grammar school days. Take a deep whiff of that unwashed, sweaty aroma of eau d’ on-the-verge-of-puberty boy. (Never mind, don’t!)
I am sitting in class between two boys whom my teacher considers behavioral miscreants. (Perhaps they had undiagnosed ADD or ADHD, but being an obedient and quiet girl, I was utilized as a buffer between such male students. I behaved!) For reasons lost to time, these boys would entertain themselves with our 1970s classroom equivalent of a fidget device.
Do you remember compasses? This was a common item found on the school supply list. Its purpose was to help the student scribe a circle. One arm held a pencil; the other arm was a very, very sharp point.
Next to me sits a boy we’ll call “Eric”. (Eric wasn’t his real name, but I can’t recall the name, and to find it would require a search of Ellen’s genuine Cluttered Crawlspace. “Eric” will suffice.) Eric has splayed his thumb and fingers on the desk, and has undertaken an attempt to master what has been fascinating his classmates: rapidly jamming the compass point in between his fingers and thumb. Wham! The point of the compass slams into the wooden desktop, and just as quickly he jerks it up and plunges into another separation of fingers. Wham! Wham! Wham! Back and forth! Faster and faster!
Of course, you know what happens next. It could have been worse; Eric could have jammed it into the bone or muscle of a finger, but it was his “lucky” day. Instead, he impaled the fleshy web betwixt his thumb and forefinger, nailing himself to the desktop. (I cringe remembering this.)
Eric goes pale, and the boys around who have been watching Eric, erupt in hooting. He thrust the compass in so hard that it takes genuine effort to extract it, or perhaps he is weak and close to fainting. I can’t say for sure. I also don’t recall it spurting blood, which, had it done so, I’m sure the reaction of the witnesses would have attracted the attention of the teacher. All I can say is that Eric kept a stiff upper lip as he shoved his wounded appendage beneath his thigh, albeit his eyes were so large he looked like a tarsier.
Why in the world was this particular skill so desired among his peers? It certainly didn’t make him attractive to females, although at this age, the girls were more mature and didn’t find their male classmates appealing. I can’t imagine he gained anything but a scar.
Back then, without the internet, I don’t know how this trick began. I wonder if he, as an adult, perfected the compass challenge. Perhaps he carries a compass in his pocket to wield at the local bar, and it is his claim to fame? Like the laundry pods, or ultra-hot chips, if this happened today, would there be a rash of broken, infected fingers? Finger loss? Concerned mothers demanding banning compasses? The world will never know!
Which brings us back to the subject of influencers; with perhaps the exception of Mr. Beast (who I won’t get into) why don’t any influencers ever create challenges that are beneficial to their community or groups? I’d love to see a challenge like which group of people can pick up the most tonnage of trash from a public park.
As the saying goes, follow the money, and I guess it is the lure of wealth from the monetization of influencing that motivates influencers. I’ve seen YouTube channels where people react to songs, and I enjoyed them. At first. After a while, the reactions seemed forced. Same with cooking influencers; after seeing the same basic recipe done a few times, it isn’t interesting anymore.
Frequently, the influencer wants me to purchase something, especially if I purchase through their channels. With AI, is that glowing skin treatment a result of the product they’re pushing, or their skill, or totally created? I’m growing skeptical, and I’m thinking other people are as well.
Maybe there will always be influencers who push the envelope, as there are always gawkers at a ten-car pileup. I’m sure plenty of people watched Evel Knievel to see if he wiped out. Henry Winkler’s television series “Hazardous History” indicates this behavior has been around much longer that I have, and I have no doubt there will be more. The ante will need to be upped, though, and that is cringe-worthy.
I can dream that my challenge of finding beneficial challenges will happen, but human nature suggests otherwise. I’m hoping that—someday—the public sneers that old grammar school put-down, “You’re such a show-off,” at the most ridiculous of influencer actions.
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